Due to recent communications with the Mothership I have been instructed to end the FREE ART CONTESTS! This is the last one ever again!

because I have been given the plans
for an even
easier and faster way for you to win!!!
No more waiting, no more getting stuck with junk you don't want. No more worry about getting picked and having tell me you don't want the junk. You get to pick if you want the prize or not in the privacy and comfort of your own home. It's also available now to anyone in the world who wants to pay for the shipping and handling of their prize!! You could win any time of any day.
One of the problems with the free art contest is it took forever to find someone who was willing to accept the prize. Each time I did a draw I had to wait 24 hours to see if they replied... no reply then I had to do the draw again. Making sure the draw was completely random took a lot of work also. It was all just too dang labour intensive.
Luckily for me and everyone else, during my last communications with the Mothership I was given the answer... Have a "FREE STUFF YOU DON'T WANT" section on my website! At first I asked, "who am I... Santa Claus!!?" But shortly after that they explained and it really made some sense. What I was told to do is every so often toss something in that free section. If someone happens to see something in there that is not taken then they just have to email me fast. The first person to email me requesting it gets that item.
Oh sure there are a few rules as usual but talk about easy. Just fire up your computer, hit my website, click on "FREE STUFF YOU DON'T WANT" and scroll down! You could check it out every day if you were really bored! Some stuff might go fast some stuff might be there forever. God knows what the hell you could find!!
Good luck and keep checking in.
Takeo Seki
One signed piece of my welded steel artwork
John Ferrie
Two of my books!!
"A Fly in the Microwave 2"
and the earlier
"A Fly in the Microwave"
Wendy D
One free cup of coffee with cream and sugar!
(swiped these from our room on our last trip to Mexico)
Plus three handy razor blades for cutting things!
And if that's not amazing enough I will throw in
a small stack of Canadian tire money
just to sweeten the pot!!!


Hi Everyone, I hope you are all doing well and enjoying the last of summer! All has been going well here as usual. Just the same can hardly wait for the rainy season again! To all of those living outside of Vancouver envying our weather don't. Sure it may have been perfect this summer but the mosquitoes were horrible. We saw three already and summers not even over!!

So, as you can probably see, the free art contest has reared it's ugly head again. Just like last time you'll have to cross your fingers and hope you don't win or rock the boat of niceness by telling me to remove you from the list. Don't forget though it could be a cold long winter so the book could come in real handy. In fact Dad asked me to send him up as many as I could before winter. I guess he really likes it.
Fun on the farm when no one's around...
Is finished!!

Yes, as if one was not enough, volume two is now finally finished!! Not only that volume two is as bad as the first one!! If you think the economy is enough bad news then you have not read this book. 230 pages with some photos and about 96 stories. As an added bonus the amazing cover design was done by the one and only Chris Blades!!

Learn what it was like to grow up in the Rocky Mountains and the strange things mountain people did back then. You can also discover simple fun things to do in your spare time plus ways to recycle and save money.
In the strange event you would like to get a signed copy before they go out of print then click the Burninggrass link below. There you will find a list of stores that were willing to risk their good reputation and stock my books. Or you can buy direct from me. The price is only $20. which includes gst and shipping to anywhere in Canada or the US!
Just to note My Dad recently commented that this second book has the same great quality construction as the first. He said the copies of this new book I sent him burnt just as hot and steady as the first ones. I guess it's something to do with the paper quality.
To find out more about these books click:
In other news...
I now have two new websites up and running.
The first is:
This site is set up for my two Fly in the Microwave books. There you can easily purchase these books via paypal and have them shipped to you free of charge. I will drop you books in the mail box usually the same day.
The second site is for my artwork and blog:
Same name, new site, more content and super easy navigation. Not to mention piles of photos. I will be making changes and adding to this site almost daily for the next while. Stay tuned!
And now brought to you live from Vancouver another...
Due mostly to laziness I have slacked off on my Free Art Contests. Though in a burst of ambition here we are again!
If you shudder at the chance of being stuck with a piece of my art please email me back asap requesting you be removed from my list. (if you got this you are on my list)
Or if you have a weird cousin or know someone else who would like to own a piece of my art let them know asap. I will get them on my mailing list and they will also have a chance to win. There is nothing to do in order to win other than to be on my contact list!!
One signed piece of my welded steel artwork
Balls 12 x 9 x 1.5" estimated value...priceless
Two of my books!!
"A Fly in the Microwave 2"
and the earlier
"A Fly in the Microwave"

98 stories 230 pages... est value, bag of laughs

108 stories 230 pages... est value, bag of laughs


One free cup of coffee with cream and sugar!
(swiped these from our room on our last trip to Mexico)
Plus three handy razor blades for cutting things!
And if that's not amazing enough I will throw in
a small stack of Canadian tire money
just to sweeten the pot!!!
Once again a few basic rules:
After being announced the winner will have only 24 hours to contact me via email or phone to arrange for pickup. After that the piece will either be used for another contest or heaved in the dumpster. Shipping charges may apply to first two prizes if not picked up in person.
Shipping charges to Canada and the US can be paid after your prize has arrived. Winners outside Canada and the US will have to pay their shipping charges in advance.
In the event the winner of any prize absolutely refuses to accept the prize then I will draw again. This will give everyone on my list a second chance to win that prize!
All decisions by me are final. Anyone arguing or trying to dispute my choices will be permanently removed from this and future contests! They may also be abducted by my alien friends for testing which could risk their position on the mothership.
All winners agree to have their name posted on my blog and announced in a similar email. They may also be required to do an interview with either Oprah or my mother.
All prizes have no redeemable cash value... or in fact... not much value period. Though my Dad did say the paper quality of the book was amazing. He said he could tell by the way it burnt, very slow and steady.
As an added note I will not be held responsible for any social outcasting, alienation from your family, your friends, or your church, nor for any attention from certain government agencies or in fact any other situation or discomfort caused by owning one of these works.
Rules subject to change without further notice due to my short attention span and limited memory. In the very rare chance I cannot find the first prize it could be substituted with something of equal or greater value as determined by me.
Anyway Cheers to you all and hope you are enjoying the last of summer while it's still here!!
Are you tired of buying your family and friends cheap wine for their birthday? Well last I heard so were they!! In case you are thinking of a change then this might be the time. If so check out one of the links below for a gift that will leave a lasting memory far more than cheap wine ever will:
A Fly in the Microwave... fun on the farm when no one's around
Steel sculpture...
Roy Mackey # 108 - 1701 Powell Street Vancouver BC V5L 5C9
(still tolerating these emails I see... give it time... you will snap soon... Remember when you do, to get off my list you only need to reply saying remove. Who cares if I have any hard feelings after all I might not even like you. At least you will not have to put up with these emails anymore.)