My Dad Died and I'm Happy

by Roy Mackey

     Yes my Dad and best friend I ever had for the last bazillion years recently died at the age of 83. What a nut bar he was! Seriously this guy really was a strange one. If you click the link on the bottom later you can see what I mean. One of those "out in left field" type of guys who lived his life the way he wanted and did what he wanted. Of course he was always nice about it and never drove his ideals down your throat but he still lived his ideals.

    Anyway surprisingly as it may seem this was a very happy time for me. Why? Well it's kind of a poorly written long winded story but basically there are a couple of reasons that explain my insanity in case you are interested. If you are militant about your beliefs then be careful as you could find this quite offensive, senseless, selfish and irritating. In reality though it is just another two bit perspective in the sea of endless perspectives here on earth. Mind you if you are a little more open minded you might find it interesting and of value. (remember open minded does not mean you are willing to give up your own beliefs... they are as valid as anyone's. It just means you are able to see other points of view. If you think this one is psycho wait until you hear about it being time to dissolve the "family" perspective)

     The first reason for my happiness is the fact that I have had three near death out of body experiences due to severe accidents. In the first one I was left for dead by paramedics. I will eventually talk about these some other time on this site. When you have these kind of experiences you learn stuff about life you normally never would. One of the main things you learn is that dying is one of the most exciting and fun things you will ever do in life. It’s better than winning the lottery. It is something that is very hard to describe to others who have not had this type of experience, kind of like parachuting. If you have done it you can tell others about it but they just won't get the whole picture unless they have been there themselves. You can also tell who has and has not jumped no matter what they say. I learned that from my parachuting instructor and later found it to be true.

     Another thing I have learned over the years is that out of body experiences are only called hallucinations by those who have NOT had them. Those who have, know otherwise. Not much different than the fact that most of us “believe” the world is round. I say most and believe because unless you your self have ever been high enough then you only “believe”. Your belief is based on trusting the photo’s, videos and stories of others saying it is so. If you were one of those who had actually been to the moon then you would know for sure if the world is round or not.

     Finding out how delicious and exciting dying is tends to change your perception on living life. It makes you want to live it even more no matter how bad it may be at the time. Kind of like you may hate your job but who cares Friday night can make up for it all!!! You see it really does not matter how bad it gets since after all this whole life experience is pretty much an illusion anyway. If you have ever been at a natural hot springs out in the mountains. (Or maybe even just your hot tub)  One of the fun things to do is to get out of the pool and roll around in the snow for a bit. This is very painful and only something brave fools ever do. Now normally you would never do that either. Though because of the fact you "know"  the hot tub is right there you can and eventually will jump back in. It also makes the cold snow way more bearable knowing the tub is there. This is all because relief is just a step or two away. You would never try this during a mid Arctic winter with no hot tub around. This is how life is. Dying is just jumping back into the hot tub.  But read on as there is a reason YOU don’t want to do that.

     Just because I said this life is just an illusion does not mean the snow is not cold or the pain is not real. It just means the bigger part of you is immortal and this “life”  is nothing more than a mental experience. Religions have talked about life being an illusion for eons and now science, in fact, has actually proven this to be true. Objectively it is impossible to even prove the world is real. Just because we can see it and feel it doesn’t mean it is real. IE: have you ever had a super real dream where you remember the feel and touch of everything in the dream? It didn’t make it real now did it?

     Oh if you don’t mind please don't tell anyone I said the "illusion"  word and don't take it too seriously yourself. We don't want a convention of "new agers"  forming on the front lawn chanting "Richard Bach" over and over. On top of that there is another reason. It is kind of like standing up in the movie and yelling out "its fake blood people"  Do that too much and before long the pitchforks will be coming out and you could be attending a hanging or witch burning. No one wants some self proclaimed "know it all"  ruining their movie on them. Whether it is on the big screen or in their "real"  life. After all in case you did not know mob mentality is alive and well as it ever was.

     The important thing to remember is we all love our drama which is why we play with it so much. After all look around you… how many people that you know are still playing the same old drama over and over. Things like I need to lose weight, find a lover, get a job, make more money, get that six pack in six days etc etc. Their (and maybe even your)  story never changes. It is the same old thing they have been harping about for years. You would think that considering all the frustration it causes that most people would just forget it and give up. Yet hardly anyone ever does! Most don't know it but giving up is one of the biggest secrets to getting what you want. Quite opposite to what the guy at that mega buck seminar you took said. But wait didn't you take that seminar years ago... and are you not still trying to make more money, lose weight, get rich……. I thought so mostly because I am doing the same dam thing and I never took the seminar. Couldn't afford it... oh and I also love the drama!

     By the way just so you know if you have not had an out of body experience, don't worry about it. Apparently the powers that be at head office realized that you were strong enough to handle the story here without help. That’s how the pros live life. If you haven't had one yet it is because you are a pro! The weak ones get one out of body experience reminder, the sissies get two… three is reserved for the real pansies!!!  : )  Four, apparently, is only for the total recalls.

     So due to experiencing all these 'out of bodies"  my perception on reality and dying is somewhat different. A lot of people out there, more versed in life would be quick to point out that this is just suppressed grieving. Apparently one day it will blow up in my face just as I am about to navigate a high speed s-turn in my new Dodge Manapause Viper. Now I have no hard feelings for their thoughts after all I remember how I used to think about girls when I was six. My thoughts were pretty clear cut and dried like most six year old boys. Later on due to biology and certain other "memorable experiences" my perception toward girls changed quite radically. It is quite common to have our perceptions changed radically by new and unusual experiences that lead you outside conventional thinking. So it would be unfair for me to judge anyone having any kind of perceptions about life. In fact I have even learned to never take my own perceptions too seriously as I have seen them change so many times over the years. There was a time I believed that it was "hell in a hand basket"  for me if I did not chant Hari Krishna ten million times. Of course that was before I realized that I only had to avoid pork on Sundays oh and then later on it changed to only having to ask for forgiveness during my last gasping breath, after that it moved to just wearing a funny hat, then onto sacrificing virgins….etc etc etc etc.

     Now I know some would say that I am still going to miss my dad no matter what I believe or "know". They could very well be right. After all for the last ten years I have had long talks with him every two or three days it seems. He actually ran out of gas about seven or eight years ago. Since then he has been running on fumes. Thus needless to say I knew his days were numbered. Course I also knew my days are numbered. Mind you so are your days numbered. That is if you are still in a physical body while reading this. Now even though the "missing"  part has some truth I noticed I never did miss him after I hung up the phone before? Why is that? Well mostly because I knew I was going to be talking to him again shortly so I just got on with what I was doing. Well think about this for a moment. How long does twenty years seem like? Well if you are looking at the next twenty years then I would say a very long time. But what about the last twenty years? Isn't that funny the last twenty seems to have flown by a lot quicker than the next twenty is getting here. That’s the way it is. Thus I am not too worried about when I talk to him next as it will likely be sooner than I imagine if the past is used as any reference. On top of that we will also have a lot more to talk about by then!

     One other thing I have learned is that we did not come here to sit around worrying about who was leaving next. This is one of the major disasters of conventional thinking/beliefs regarding death. Think about it by the time you hit forty, life is just one miserable disaster after the other. First you grandfather goes, then your grandmother, then your cousins friend, then the dog dies, the cat gets sick and before long you lose an uncle, mom, dad, wisdom tooth, hairline and favorite gold fish…. etc. The older you get the faster it happens with people dropping like flies all around you. The story gets worse. After forty years of saving you finally get to buy that fancy new sports car you always wanted. Jackpot now you can finally show old, what’s his name, from high school, a thing or two. The trouble is you go on Farcebook and find out he died also!! Tragedies like this happen all the time when you are over forty. How can life over forty ever be happy with death kicking you in the groin all the time? You can’t unless you change or have your perceptions changed.

     Sure, I admit funeral style get-togethers with family and friends are always nice but not that fun as everyone is usually sad. Actually scared is more often the case. Everyone (who is over 40) is wondering who is going to take the big black ax next. Just like too many roosters on the family farm… “whooooo’s neck’st” said the Barn Owl. This does not make for a very productive time while we are here. How can it be when everyone is running scared, worried or grieving sad? What makes this even worse is looking at history. If we are to believe the records this living dying process has been going on for a long, long time. After this long it seems pretty apparent that we must be missing something here…. It rains we get wet, you work you pay taxes... you live you die, doesn’t seem to be that complicated. Not to mention I don’t know about you but I never paid a dime for this experience. Sure life may have its flaws but like they say you get what you pay for. Thus just maybe a little gratitude could be in order?

     A lot of people don’t know it but life is like a game of leap frog. The older die, get reborn, grow up, do the work they want to do creating new things like we humans love to do, then grow old and die again. We can actually speed up the growing old part by trying to manipulate the younger ones into staying at the point we, ourselves, have arrived at. We assume our spot is the pinnacle of creation and no more evolution is required. Sort of like the famously stupid English politician around 1910 or so said they could shut down the patent office as all things have been invented now!! A true story actually. Thankfully the younger generation did not listen then just like they will not listen now. After all our evolving future depends on it and they are smart enough to know that.

     As you may know there are a lot of people out there who think this is all BS and that the world is going to end soon anyway. Sadly for all those "hopers" out there this is not going to happen. Sure it would be nice if it did for a change after all people have been prophesying that for eons now. Yet still nothing has happened. In a sense most of those prophets and psychics were not too far off though. It’s just that the "End"  they were sensing was their own and not the worlds. Proof of that is the world is still here and most prophets are all long gondi. Sure this kind of sucks as it would be nice for once to finally see all those sinners/heathens/politicians and lawyers heading straight to hell as we rise up under our golden halos but no chance of that.

     The "whatever it is"  that created us all seems to like us all no matter what. (this partially based on 1001 stories on out of body experiences)  Kind of like an artist who does some good works, some ok works and some real crappy works.  Just the same though if they are smart they rarely throw out one piece. Ok some will if their ego is a little out of hand but generally an artist in a good content mental state is aware of the old saying "one man’s junk is another man’s gold"  They will just do the work and let others determine for themselves what is good or bad. Any form of creativity, after all, is all about the perception of the viewer. Smart creators know that. Every work has its place in the artistic unfolding process. Now I agree nothing beats a good judgment situation soon followed by a gory revenge scene. From what I have learned though that’s more of a thankless human situation that the higher ups don't partake in.

     I know... stuff like this really hurts. Especially so if you have been towing the line to your beliefs and denying yourself of pork on certain days, a job you love, eating meat,  junk food here and there etc etc. Then to add insult to injury in the end you find out the other guy gets through the gates just like you do. Not a pretty picture if you really wanted to do what he did or something else just as bad in your life. Either way though, you have to forgive those who misguided you and just move on to the next round.

     With all this said there is another reason why I am so happy about my Dad going and this is the most important. When you leave the body it is a very happy experience. One you would not trade for winning any lottery of any amount. So to be sad at all would just be raining on Dad's parade. He's got some good stuff going right now and does not need or want me crying on his behalf. I would not cry if he or anyone else I knew won the lottery so why would I cry if he got something even better? Ok… ok. I might cry if some people I know won the lottery but most I would not. I would be happy for them.

     What all this boils down to is if you believe in the old model of life and death then crying and releasing your anguish through grieving etc is vital. If you believe in the real model of life and death then crying or sadness is impossible. Now just so you know I am not against crying. Hell I cry at Disney movies and most commercials! That’s a different game though, sort of sadness begets sadness situation. Now in all honesty I don’t have a clue if it is possible to feel like I do about death without having an out of body experience or not. Maybe you can or maybe you can’t only you will know for sure.

     I should note that there is a danger in reading this. You may start to think "well if it is that great over there what the hell am I doing over here suffering so much for?"  Well that would be missing the main point. Sure, over there is good but you did not come over here so you could run back over there. Besides it will make you look like a chicken…. Believe me I tried it…. shoulda seen them all laughin. You will get your time over there. You came here to dig into 'your"  life. Not just any life or someone else's life but your life. It is all about you diving into figuring your life out. Even if your life”  is just giving "early exit"  more commonly called “suicide”  the finger as long as you can. If that’s the case then it’s now time to "play ball"  No matter what your life is about you are only competing with yourself. Whatever you do, you want to do it better than you did it before not better than anyone else. Losers compete with others and try to convince us to do the same. It is a fruitless game that often leads to depression. Winners compete with their greatest challenge… themselves. Sure it is often easier to compete with others especially if you pick the right ones  but its far more satisfying to compete with yourself. Besides you never lose! If you compete with yourself as one half of you always wins!

No Funerals

     Because of all the above changing my perceptions I also no longer go to funerals. In fact I have only been to one in my life… my uncles years ago. I was really young and barely remember it but do remember how painful and sad it was for everyone. To me now it is a very simple event and not sad in the slightest. Thus needs very little fanfare, sadness, celebration or anything for that matter.

     Sure you may think differently and that is fine. I think funerals are a great ritual especially if you live under the old belief rules. The old rules are dying though and it is sometimes better to just let them go. I should also point out that I am not much interested in the opposite end of the same scale either… the Celebration of Life rituals. Once again I am not saying they are bad and in fact the same thing as regular funerals. Great if you live under the old rules.

     To me dead or alive is all the same… one just doesn’t have a body. Sure this makes him a little harder to hear now but who cares?, I never listened much to him anyway when he was alive. In fact if you are real honest with yourself when was the last time you "really" heard or listened to the people you love around you? If you are a liar then of course you did or do all the time. Most honest people though would say rarely if ever. When around their loved ones most would say they were usually thinking about their own rat race problems, triumphs etc. They were so caught up in their mind chasing their own holy grail that they rarely heard a word or noticed who they were even with as they babbled on. Actually even liars eventually realize this but often not until the particular loved one in question has died. Just to note realizing it before they die is one hell of a lot easier. (if you think about this for a bit there is a clue to happiness in this point)

     The old belief rule is a lie that causes a lot of pain. Supporting people living under those old rules does not help them and only extends their pain. Sure this is fine if you also live under the old beliefs and rules yourself but if you don’t then it is a place you can’t go. How can you support a lie that is keeping people in constant pain? You can’t and feel good about it, no matter how much social pressure there is to conform. If you tell me your Dad/Mom died you will usually hear me say “lucky son of a bitch”  Cruel?… nope… why?… because I know… not believe… it is true, he/she is a lucky son of a bitch!!! Ok the son of a bitch part might be in question but the lucky part is definitely not.

     Sure you are sad and coulda, woulda, shoulda said more to them when he/she was alive but you didn’t and you know what? That “son of a bitch” coulda, woulda, shoulda, done the same thing. But they didn’t either because that’s life and besides they had rats to race and so do you. In fact it is why you came in the first place. Don’t kid yourself you will be catching up with them a lot sooner than you can imagine. Then you can, and likely will both catch up on regrets over a ton of laughter. In the mean time don’t rain on their parade and let them bask in the relief that leaving has to offer.

     I should add one more point here. After my first out of body experience almost 40 years ago I have read literally thousands upon thousands of stories about other people who have had out of body experiences. One of the books I read was a collection of a thousand and one out of body experiences. Not one negative story in that book. Since then every story I read was similar in that it was extremely positive. Not one person had a negative story of darkness, dread or anything similar. Then a few years back someone phoned me excitedly and said they just read a book by someone who died, went out of body and saw a hell like place. I quickly blurted out “they were a Christian” before I could even think or she could say another word. She was quiet for a bit and then asked how I knew. I did not know but later after some thought it made sense. After all from my limited understanding most Christian religions push the heaven/hell story pretty hard. Some even believe it is a control issue to attract more subscribers. I doubt it but money and control is a big motivator and has been for eons. Now it is just a guess but maybe her religion influenced her perception more than most during her out of body state.

     Now not that I have anything here against Christians at all. In fact what’s his name in the white robe had some pretty cool stuff to say about life. Even more so if you read it without guidance from others. I just thought that was a little strange especially after reading so many stories for so many years and not one was negative. Actually I made it a passion reading as many stories as I could after having my first experience. It was mostly because I was obsessed to find out what the hell was going on and how come no one told me about this stuff? The one thing most of us can agree on is life really is quite strange!!

     Anyway as far as for my Dad’s fate all I can say is "Lucky Son of a Bitch!!!"

     In case you want to read more about this nut bar who was apparently my Dad but definitely my best friend then check out the link below. I tell you he worked too hard, ate too much, smoked too much, took too many dangerous chances, washed his hands in gasoline, was lazy, never exercised and yet still managed to stay on the horse until he was 83!! Not too shabby!!! Check him out… you might just get some good ideas! I still can’t believe I turned out so normal after all his influence!!!  : )

CR Mackey