me-blogging-the-dog

You Missed the Tax Deadline... Dec 1rst....

Sun, 22 Jan 2012 07:03:54 +0100

     You know I am amazed at how many people in business miss the deadline for getting their taxes DONE. I have asked, god knows how many people, and so far have not met one that was aware that the real deadline to get your taxes DONE is December first!!! Everyone I meet says it is not until April or May sometime. What they are missing is the fact April or so is the deadline for when you have to FILE your taxes… not get them DONE.

     You see by having them done in December you are able to assess how much you are going to owe in taxes a few months later. Thus if it is a lot then still have time to rack up some legitimate write offs. A few years ago I did mine and quickly realized that I was going to have to pay a huge chunk in taxes. Too many art sales and not enough right offs.

     So because it was only December I still had time to rack up some tax deductible assets. Thus I dashed out and bought a new computer, camera and all sorts of other junk I could use as legitimate write-offs for my business. At the time computers were only a fifty percent write off the first year but still. Since I did buy it, that meant I had half that purchase price to deduct off what I was going to have to pay in taxes just a few months later. That is like getting that "already on sale" computer for fifty percent off the sale price!!! How good is that?!!! If I followed the herd and not done my taxes until April or whenever it would have been too late to change anything then. Thus I would have been stuck with paying an lot more in taxes.

Bla… bla… bla...

     Now if you think about it a bit this is why I love income taxes so much. They force everyone who wants to live in this country under the present regime to stimulate the economy. If they don't want to do it themselves by starting up a business and buying junk to build that business then they have to pay more in taxes. Any free loaders out there who think they can just get a high paying job and then just selfishly pile up all their money in a vault somewhere are out of luck. You either play the game or pay for the game.

     A lot of times this causes intense discomfort in those who work normal jobs. First off is they hate to see all that money being taken from them. This is unfortunate since that’s what builds the economy… which is why they have the job they have. Just the same they hate the thought of having to part with all that beer money for nothing. After all the government takes that money piles it up and then gives big chunks of it to people to study house flies having sex. The reason the government does this is they know that the people doing the study will take this easy come money and blow it on other stuff. This spending of course creates more jobs and prosperity for everyone. It filters down the chain stimulating the economy every time it changes hands. After all every time money is spent it does not dissolve into thin air. It just changes hands.

     You see the guy who got money for the fly study is rich over night. Thus being a new found big shot he rushes over to me and orders a custom sculpture. I build him the sculpture and he gives me the money. Now our "economy" has a fifty thousand dollar sculpture and the money is still floating around. Of course since I am all of a sudden Mr. Big Shot myself I head right out to McDonalds every night for dinner. That means the owner of McDonalds has more business and thus hires some poor ex-realtor who can now feed his family… which means places like safewaste can hire more staff. Thus each time money changes hands we all win.

     Now if they had given it to my friends penny pinching Scottish grandfather that would have been a real disaster. He would have stuffed it under his pillow and sparingly doled it out only when needed and often penny at a time. Not much economic stimulus there.

     If you don't know this fact about money then it is likely you find government spending to be a totally frustrating subject. By them throwing the money at the top and letting it work it's way down… and believe me it always does, it benefits everyone more than if they just piled it up at the bottom. It is a common known fact by bankers everywhere that almost everyone alive spends slightly more than they make no matter how much that is. There is an old saying "buy a man some beer and he can get drunk for a day…. Teach him how to get a job and he can get drunk for the rest of his life" Thus giving someone a handout is fine but unless you can get them a job their life is not going to get much better. With the coming highly competitive world markets now having jobs is going to get... I mean already... is real vital.

     The one problem with the government is they know that the ever increasing majority are on the lower end of the money chain. Thus to get voted in the need to appease them which is often by handing out more government benefits to the poor. Sure enough it gets them re-elected but does not help the poor much. After all like I said unless they can get a chance at a job their life is not going to get better. Plus with less and less money floating through the upper and middle part of the chain it only means less chance of more jobs.

     You see people on the bottom of the money chain often can only afford to spend that money on simple basics. Those like food, booze, rent etc. Often those services are provided by the rich and thus the rich get richer and the poor get poorer. Unless you don't have a tv and live in a cave you can see that the middle class in North America is shrinking rapidly or maybe I should say almost gone. That's what vote buying does. It kills the job creating middle class, makes the rich richer and creates more poor and unemployed. Before long it is snowball out of control rolling into hell. Wait… that sounds like the economy now.

     Now I have met a lot of people who have nine to fivers and think it is unfair that business people get to write off stuff. Short sighted thinking on their part as anyone who has a business knows. Self employment is often more like self abuse. You usually work way longer hours at far less pay for years until you, if you are extremely lucky, hit the big time. The odds of a small business surviving past the first year is just short of a miracle. About eighty percent fail the first year. Another eighty percent of those that survive the first year die within the next two years. It's a tough gig. In fact I read somewhere that almost all of the Fortune Five hundred companies from a just a few years ago are now long gondi!!! No it is not an easy path. But thanks to the American dream and the hope of treasure at the end of the tunnel there are those willing to chase it. Those that do and make it create jobs for all of those that don't walk that path and would just rather work as an employee. Nothing against them at all as they are as important as any. They are also the people the government likes since they pay taxes and rightfully should! After all they are not taking the risk the business owner is. It is the ultimate in fairness.

The Art of Stealing...

Mon, 16 Jan 2012 00:33:36 +0100

     You know I am amazed these days at how many companies out there are desperate to regain profits from the glory years gone by and turn to stealing from their loyal customers. A trend that I have noticed is really starting to take off this last while. I am guessing this is mostly because of the economy but not sure. The worst part about it all is often these companies are ones you have likely dealt with and trusted for years.

     The most common rip off is the "New Convenient Size" (which of course is smaller) and "Same Great Price" trick. A prime example of this is the candy bars in my "The Art of Stealing" section on this site. The real strange part is even though they may have had great and honorable reasons behind this move they chose not to use it in their marketing? Can you really imagine that? The new iPhone now has a built in printer… but they never said anything to anyone before it was launched?? Not likely.

     You know a lot of people never realize the power they have to change the world using their "dollar" vote. If you don't like companies stealing off you behind your back then you have the choice to buy elsewhere. When you do that you affect things in a bigger way than you can imagine. Sure you can vote for any politician you want but in the end they pretty well all do the same thing… lie and do what the "powers that be" say. Nothing wrong with that as I am not convinced the "powers that be" are all that bad anyway. But when you make a dollar vote you really say something loud and clear. For example if you hate landfills then stop buying stuff that ends up in the landfill six months later. It is amazing the impact that can have. If you are the "Ben Dover" type or maybe a Canadian and like being shoved around then fine keep buying the same products. But if not then it is time to switch brands whether you have customer loyalty or not. Sure some people would rather keep quiet and not say or do anything but that does not have to be you. Often when you drop one product you were loyal to and try another you find that the new product is even better anyway. The nice thing about it all is it tells companies that you may be loyal but not into letting your loyalty get you ripped off.

     Now the worse part about this all is most times you never even notice that you are getting stung. Though I have found one of the easiest ways to be warned is to watch for label changes. That tells you something is up...

     Here is my latest example above, Herbal Fiberblend from The AIM Companies. I have been using this product for sometime now and love it since it amps up my energy big time. Strangely though the previous time we bought it we noticed some ingredient was missing on the list. It was shear fluke we checked but told someone we buy this product because of this ingredient. Then when we went to show them it was not on the list yet were sure the product had that ingredient before. Since we had already thrown out the previous bottle we could not check for sure. At that point I let it drift as likely our mistake. Then the other day I got a new bottle and noticed the label change. This was of course a red flag so checked the ingredients. Luckily I still have the old bottle here to compare. Well it turns out the "new and improved" bottle is short at least three more ingredients. On top of that it has twenty percent more give or take of the cheapest ingredient… psylium??? Same great product just short a few of the…likely more expensive… ingredients. I checked the box and sure enough no flyer stating that they have now removed those other…recently discovered as carcinogenic… ingredients. No explanation on the website that I could find. Just the same old product, same great price and now less ingredients??? Now I am not sure about you but I could not help but smell rip off here. Just the same I am not the sharpest tool in the shed to decided to write the company… hmmmm no answer so far. In fact I have not even had any "men in black" knocking on my door reminding me to "shut the f up"

     This example pretty well proves to me that this company that I have been so loyal too is not that loyal to its customers. Their loyalty seems to end at the ink used in their brochures. Now this is not that big a deal after all the economy is tough and usually accountants rarely know what else to do to increase profits other than manipulate numbers… less of this expensive stuff… more of this cheap stuff…. Equals maintained profit…

     My dad used to always say that if you have a friend that would steal off his grandmother you should watch him around your own wallet... or if you friend shoots your cat don't trust him around your dog....

Who Killed the Aptera?

Mon, 02 Jan 2012 05:16:41 +0100

   Not sure if you have heard of the Aptera or not. If not it is one of the coolest and funnest looking cars ever. Ok maybe not a testosterone beast but still a very new and refreshing concept to say the least. Designed and built by visionaries obviously. It was a car of the future that was always talked about in those magazines from back in the fifties. A car that never did arrive... even today. This one coulda been it though. After all It is clean quiet, electric, cool, truly modern and fun. Looked like more like an airplane than a car. It was different and stood out like no tomorrow unlike like all the rounded boxes you see on the road today. Anyway after a long story the Aptera is dead… at least that’s what I recently read.

     What happened? Well herez my totally un-educated, biased, moronic, insultive and foolish opinion. It was killed!!!...

     By whom you ask? Was it the oil companies, or Bin Laden, (you do know he’s still alive right), or George Bush, or The New World Order, or the group of conspirators who put weird marks and drawings on the US dollar in attempts to control our minds? No, as much as I hate to say it, none of the above. No it was killed by "The American Rock Star" mentality. I know sounds strange but true. You see every up and coming company these days, American or not, wants to be like rock stars… or even better yet like Steve Jobs! (since you don't have to know how to dance or stuff foam down your pants)

     Yes, believe it or not, most new companies long to have their CEO down dressed in old jeans and black t shirts up on stage announcing the release of their latest and greatest product. The crowd is full of such notables as the Queen of England, Alice Cooper, and Albert Einstein all waiting in excited anticipation. Out the back door to the stage is Oprah and other such types clawing away hoping to get the inside scoop in order to boost their TV ratings. Mr. Cool and CEO of the company, humbly walks around on stage casually pointing out the features of their new release to the gasps, ooooh's, aaaaahs and clapping of the crowd. On the day of the release world news is reporting the sales figures of the new said product to be in the millions. Investors are busy patting themselves on the back at the wiseness of their choice. Life is good for everyone.

     This is all a fine vision and part of what the American Dream is all about. Where the trouble lies with this is in the fact that Apple like a lot of other companies had to go through a little scraping and scratching for a few years to get to that point. Of course this is the type of stuff no Rock Star CEO wants to do any more. Things like build a few cars… sell a few cars… build a few more cars… sell a few more cars… and so on. By refining as you go it makes the product better and better at the same time building your cash flow and company. Eventually, and hopefully sooner than later, sales start to go through the roof and the company takes off.

     Most people/companies today though want to get into the game, step up to the plate with the bases loaded and drive a home run first try. This is nice, and I am sure it has happened before, but realistically almost never. Even the iPhone was launched from Apple's well established base. Anyway once the company’s CEO starts to see it is not going to play out that way they turn to their accountants for confirmation. Since most North American accountants are Asian spies sent here to kill businesses and ship the remains over seas the story unfolds on target. The accountant’s show that the business will not work based on their math and calculations thus proving the CEO"s dream of pulling a "Steve Job" ooooh and aaaah presentation is not going to happen. Thus the CEO gives up. Next thing you know some over sea's company comes along and scoops up the remains of that American Dream and continues on. After all most of the bull work has been done by then and with cheap labor they can pull off some kind of cheap facsimile and sell it back to the original CEO… if he has a job by then.

     It is not like these visionaries are stupid. Not even slightly the case. It is just that their expertise lies elsewhere being the visionaries that they are. This means they just aren’t seeing the whole picture. Not to mention they are are often too focused on watching Steve Jobs doing presentations on youtube for their inspiration. That inspiration takes them away from reality and when they see their vision is not going to unfold over night they just give up. This is too bad since they were so close. Visionaries like this are extremely intelligent but often not with all things, like for example growing a business. They often just get too impatient. They forget or never noticed that all great companies started small and worked their way up the ladder. Had they only held out just a little longer? Built a little cash flow and let it grow the story would unfold differently. Instead they let the results of some dumb marketing survey sway their direction. Some marketing company who goes around asking people who have nothing better to do but dumb product surveys what they think and the CEO takes it seriously!?!?!?

     Most people don't realize this, (which is why 80% or so of all new businesses fail within the first year), but when it comes to new companies marketing does not sell products as much people sell products. Don't believe me then see what happens when someone like Marilyn Manson, the Dali Lama or Oprah Winfrey buys your "unknown" product and loves it. When you are a small company (and your product is actually good) you just need someone to buy it and then they will sell it for you. Mostly because they will rave about it to their friends. Strangely that can compound very quickly, as you already know if you have ever studied network marketing. And the best part is there is no "selling" involved, at least on your part!! In fact this is exactly how I managed to, so far, sell a thousand copies of my first self published book: A Fly in the Microwave...fun on the farm when no one's around, Only a couple percent of my total sales were actually through book stores! In fact I only ever had it in a couple of book stores to begin with. It has all been via word of mouth. People loving what they read and telling others. All which led to people knocking on my door or going to my website. www.burninggrass.com

     Once your company gets bigger then you switch money from researching and developing product improvements over to marketing.(..unless of course you want to be like Apple and get really rich) After all accountants using numbers can prove to you that it is cheaper to just tell people that your product is better than to actually try and make it better. After all isn’t that what all the phone companies were doing before Apple came along and put two and two together… (hmmm....funny accountants never came up with that idea) Now because of that we have to listen to all these scrambling, Johnny come lately, phone companies going on and on about how their "New" smart phone is going to blow the iPhone out of the water...

     Anyway just my two bits but either way for now the Aptera… one of my dream cars is DBL… dead before launch.

Lip Burner Lids from McDonalds

Fri, 02 Dec 2011 23:14:41 +0100

Me playing a little Russian Roulette

     Hey have you tried the new "lip burner" lids from McDonalds? They are pretty amazing since it is almost impossible to get a sip out of them without burning your lips. You either get none… or tip'er up a little more and its burn lip or tongue time. Usually followed by stained shirt almost immediately afterwards. One of the reasons I might add why I wear only black. Coffee stains never show up and not only that but you only have to wash your shirts every couple of weeks or so.
     Anyway back to the lip burners. You may have thought you were stupid and you could very well be right but you probably don't run a company as big as McDonalds. How do you think they feel after getting suckered on those stupid lids? After all they obviously put no thought or testing into them whatsoever. Who knows what the hell happened. Especially with a company like that. Hell they must have spent millions making just their milkshakes alone! Have you ever noticed how light they are? If you have never had a real milkshake maybe not. I am guessing they contain some weird fluff it up chemical designed by a team of accountants in a cave somewhere. If you are a little flush one day buy one and just leave it on your counter till it "reverts" back to its original form. Not much left even if it was full when you put it there. The magic of chemistry I guess.
     I would assume with these lids they just dumped the big buck lid contract onto some friend of the family's son. Who likely whipped something out on his computer one afternoon or maybe even during recess at grade school. My guess is he wanted something that looked kind of roboty. That way when he gets old enough to actually drink coffee it would be a lot more fun. Well the thought was nice but for the rest of us suckers it is not that fun. Especially when you are late for work and trying to drink your coffee, eat your eggless McMuffin with pancakes, talk to on your wireless and drive too boot!! Sure eventually you get good at steering with your leg but one slip and it's hash browns on the floor again!! One of the reasons I often get two orders of them greasy suckers. They get hard to hang onto when driving.
     Really now how hard could testing like that be? Walk into the joint, buy a coffee sit down drink it. Go home wash your shirt. Then go back into the joint, buy a coffee and walk down the street drinking it Go home and wash your shirt. Then finally drive into the joint, buy a coffee, drive down the street drinking your coffee. Go home wash your shirt and pants and then phone the autobody shop. Not that hard. After the testing was over they could have phoned me and I would have gave them a lead for great quality black t-shirts cheap. Something you may want to consider if you eat at McDonalds. In fact for every two coffee's you don't drink you can buy one new shirt!!
     Well back to what I was saying. You just can't beat black clothes. Save money on washing, never show the stains, you look more like an artist, banks won't lend you money to buy stupid consumer things, black is cheap, change your oil in the same clothes you wear to the office. Does it get any better? Not only that but if you make your coffee at home you will save enough to buy those black clothes.

Nut-Bars...

Thu, 14 Apr 2011 02:15:34 +0100

     You know I tell you there are a lot of real nut-bars out there. I should know I grew up in the country. In fact it is almost as bad here in the city. I am not sure what is happening in the world but it seems to be getting worse. Maybe it is just because there are getting to be so many more of us. I don't know but it is strange. I was talking to this loose nut the other day and he started telling me about his imaginary friends. He kept going on and on about all the stuff he did with them. Finally I was like… OKEE DOKEE then... looks like I gotta go now! I often wonder how people like that even get through the system without ending up in some kind of institution or something getting shock therapy. Imaginary friends??? Give me a break. Sure I got friends that are invisible but its not like they are imaginary. In fact it is where I get a lot of ideas for my stories here.

     I admit, like most people, nut-bars do drive me a little crazy. Just the same I am not the type to want to condemn anyone just because they are a few wires short. After all it's not like there is no place for people like that in our society. Actually the opposite is true since we really need people like that. If it were not for them where would we get politicians to pretend to run the country? Someone who has imaginary friends is perfect. Mostly because they would not mind the idea of following orders from those invisible people who really run the country from behind the scenes. It is kind of how things work. There is a purpose for everyone. Not only that but what about parking police? Obviously no one likes them so who would they have for friends if it were not for imaginary friends. That's one of the reasons we all need to remember there is a time and place for everyone.

     Another fine example is dumpster divers. They probably do more recycling and live greener than most consumers carrying their... BLACK... "This bag is green" bag out of Cambodia tire. Yet most people look down on them as if they are scum. I don't think so… except that one that grabbed that piece of copper pipe I was fishing out of the dumpster that time. I know I had my hands on it first!!! I would have gotten it back off of him if I could have ran faster. Unfortunately I cut my foot barefoot running awhile back which slowed me down. Needless to say he got away. Either way I realize they are not all scum and do an excellent job of recycling. We all need to be giving them more respect than we have. By the way if you do see this one guy that stole my copper pipe let me know. He is easy to spot. Unshaven, ragged clothes and was wearing odd shoes. Anyway I am not holding a grudge but I could have used that pipe in a project I did last year.

     Anyway back to my main point here. Stealing is wrong no matter how you look at it. I think it is time we brought out more laws to stop that. The sooner the better. Life is tough enough as it is let alone thieves grabbing stuff right out of your bare hands!!

FREE CANDLE HOLDERS....?

Fri, 08 Apr 2011 05:46:42 +0100

    I was talking to an accountant the other day and he had some good points to make. He told me that if he wanted to buy one of my candle holders for $75. all he would have to do is give up his five dollar, coffee and muffin he eats every day seventeen times. In fact if he were to quit this ugly habit period, he could afford to buy two candle holders a month! He went on to say that if you multiplied that by twelve months he could own 20 of these candle holders by the end of the year!! Not only that he would be healthier from eating 362 less muffins and coffee's. Less coffee would mean he would be calmer and thus more effectively productive. The best part about it all at the end of the year he would have 21 pieces of art that would only be appreciating in value.

     Another thing he pointed out was the fact that if he bought the 21 candle holders now at only $75. each instead of the $95. that they were going to be going up to in April or May he would save $25. on each holder. If he multiplied that by the 21 he was buying he would be saving $530. !!! That would be like getting eight for free!!! I guess that's one of the perks of being an accountant you really get to know your numbers and can think in ways most of us don't.

     He also said he knew where last years muffins were..., half of them were clogged up in his intestines and hanging over his belt. The other half were floating around in some sewerage treatment plant somewhere…. Not much resalable value there he said. I have to admit he kind of got me thinking and I might even give up muffins myself, after all art verses the options he presented is a no brainer. What the hell there is pretty well nothing to lose except a little weight. Not only that but it appears that steel is not going to go down. I am guessing that it won't be long now with the downfall of America that China will start building their military big time. After all someone has to rule the world and kick a little butt. Thus there will be a lot of plows getting hammered into guns for that event and of course that will surely skyrocket steel prices.

     Yes I would be thinking seriously about investing in "useable" scrap steel while these are still available!! After all if you do quit the muffins and coffee it will be like getting your candle holders for free!! How cool is that? It is like getting paid to get thinner and be more effectively productive. Can you imagine what your art collection would be like had you done this years ago!! You could probably retire off the sale of your collection!! Hey just a thought to consider

Berkley Compressor in Red Deer

Tue, 01 Feb 2011 09:03:15 +0100

     Hey if you are ever in Red Deer Alberta watch out for these guys at Berkley Compressor. Man they are a weird bunch! Believe me I know. I phoned them up one day looking for some compressor parts for my old 1948 Brunner. I told them that I was a starving artist, low cash, ambition and motivation. I was also too cheap to buy a new compressor and thus wanted to save my old one. I made it pretty obvious that I was not going to be their next big spending customer. Well Richard, one of the gang there starts yapping away about how he was going to dig around for the parts and let me know right away. He told me to call him the next day.

     Well even though I was very suspicious I did phone. Sure enough he had all the parts I needed!!! Then to make matters even worse he offered me a bargain deal on the price. Well at that point I was getting really weirded out. The guy was acting like it was 1950 or something and that you treated ALL customers with respect as if they were valuable and that you main goal was to be of service no matter what!! I tell you it was like going to the gas station and having an attendant fill your car, wash your windows and check your oil??

     At one point I wanted to Remind Richard that I was barely going to pay for these parts let alone ever come back to their place again! After all I rarely if ever need the type of service and parts they sell. So why the hell was he giving such great service?? Well your guess is as good as mine but I did have a few theories. The first is that Red Deer might be a little behind the times and just not know that good service stopped with most companies years ago. In fact it is partly to blame for the demise of the economy.

     Another theory I have is that they must not have accountants riding around on their backs all day. After all most accountants are deadly to good service and satisfied customers. Mostly because they forget... or never knew that customers are real people not just numbers. It's pretty obvious the owner of this place understands what customers really are. After all any sharp run business usually does and they also know that the real money made in any business comes via the front line people who deal directly with the customer. Sales people are the only thing that stand between you and your businesses cash flow. Outstanding sales come from outstanding sales people.

     Often though business owners think that the accountants are the ones to look after. In fact part of the reason for that is accountants, a long time ago, made a deal with the devil if he would come up with a quote to help them in their mission. Sure enough he did in order to keep his end of the bargain. (as if they really needed it as their inventory management software was more than customer killer enough.) His quote was "its not what you make... but what you keep" Sure it sounds good at first but what would you prefer? Keeping a 100% of a thousand dollars or only $50% of a million A good accountant will get you close to the first option…. A good salesman will get you close to the second… you pick.

     Anyway the problem with this type of service is that it gets addictive fast. Next thing you know you start longing for it. Especially at those times you are standing in the isles of Hopeless depot or Cambodia Tire begging to make eye contact with at least one of the service people darting around corners trying to avoid you. After a couple of trips there you will be wanting to order some reed valves from Berkley Compressor yourself… whether you need them or not,... just so you can get a taste of good service. You will feel like you are young again!!!

www.berkleycompressors.com

A quick side note here to any big spenders out there looking for great places to deal with. Walk into the place, whatever it is, and tell them the return spring on you volkswagans carborator rusted off. Keep your big spending plans totally quiet. Then watch the service they give you. That will tell you the service you are going to get the second your big spending is over or slows down little. Any place will try and impress the hell out of you with free cigars and friendly smiles if you walk in like a big spender. Though when your spending slows don't be surprised to find so does your service. It is pretty obvious with places like Berkley Compressor though the service you get will always be great!

New Years Goals and Resolutions, Tips, Tricks and the Power of Procrastination

Tue, 18 Jan 2011 22:16:16 +0100

Ever notice that once you cut a piece of cake there are two sides that don't have icing on it?
Keeping extra icing on hand solves this sad situation.

   Yes it is that ugly time of year again when everyone has to come up with some resolutions. I love it since I always seem come up with some good ones. This year my main one is to eat more cake for breakfast. I already do most times but might want to amp it up a little. My other main one is to get back on my candy bar and coffee diet. I love how I feel on that. I sleep great have tons of energy, feel more focused and better workouts. You can read more about this diet in this blog somewhere else. But don't try it. Unless you are taking these pills the mothership gives me it would likely kill you. Another one is to try and work less this year by doing more of nothing. That one will be the hardest I guess.      In the event you are thinking of also coming up with some resolutions or maybe already have here are some tips and tricks that might help. A lot of people don't realize this but the trick with good resolutions is to AIM VERY LOW !! That way you cannot miss or at least are less likely to. Remember an accomplished goal in the hand breeds more confidence than two large dreams, unaccomplished, ever will!!! Don't let any ra-ra motivational guru convince you otherwise.

     You see a lot of people set huge goals not realizing how far they are away from those goals. After awhile you start to realize that you are not going to make it and the next moment your motivation dives as you fall into depression. I have seen it often especially with myself. Often someone will wake up one morning after years of doing no exercise and decide they are going to start of the "powerful six pack in six days, gut bustin power packin, pain is gain workout regime by Ben Swetin" Day three hits and they realize the futility of their venture. Thus day four they all of a sudden have something important come up so can't do their workout that day. Then the next day they feel a little stiff so take the day off etc etc….. Then a week or so later they start thinking what losers they are. Depression sets in and they turn to the suppressing power of food to deal with the pain.

     By realizing and accepting the fact that you are nothing but a loser right up front and setting goals very low you soon start to build powerful confidence in your ability to finish things. Mostly because the goals you set end up being more realistic. Not only that but even if you don't make your goals it's no big deal since if you have already resolved you’re a loser and can be happy with that who cares. If you had to choose between being a very happy loser or a very miserable millionaire what would you choose? Most of us would choose the miserable millionaire thinking that we could buy happiness but that would be missing the question. Trouble is neither wealth or poverty can buy you happiness. It is all a mind frame. Proof is in the fact that there are both happy and miserable millionaires along with happy and miserable poor people.

     After choosing a new years resolution one other thing I like to do is amp up my procrastination. In fact you may want to use this also. What you do is figure out things you may want to do no matter how stupid they are. Say for example you wanted to eat less sweets. The first thing you have to do is decide that you are NEVER going to QUIT eating sweets, after all why should you since you love sweets just like everyone else. What you want to do though is every time you are thinking about some sweets decide that you are going to but not until later on that day or maybe first thing in the morning. Then you just turn to procrastination with the aid of distraction. If you are like most people this comes natural since we practice it every year about this time. Then the next morning as you are thinking about the cake again say to yourself that you will have an even larger piece maybe even two pieces but not until a little later that day. Then immediately after that start doing something else to distract yourself again. This way you actually use procrastination to your advantage. After all procrastination can be a very powerful tool that you can use to your advantage. These days even more so since the options for distraction are almost endless with email, google, faceplant, nittwitter, Judge Judy etc etc. The nice part about procrastination is that you never have to give anything up and feel like you are missing out. You are free to eat that sugar any time you want… just not right now since you have to… uh… check your email!!!

     You know most people seem to forget it but the reason they set new years resolutions in the first place is so that they will feel better about life and themselves. Since feeling good about ourselves is more about a state of mind than it is external circumstance then worrying about outcomes is of not much value. Thus set lower goals that you know you can accomplish very easily. You will feel better and end up climbing that mountain how it should be climbed, one step at a time enjoying it all the way. After all there is fuck all at the top anyway other than the view. And what is the view of???... The valleys and fields where you are living right now anyway!!! So would you rather be up on a mountain looking down at your perfect lover or down in the valley right next to them? Personally, in my opinion right next to them is a lot more fun.

Listen up Guys.... The worlds BEST peanut butter cookies!!!!

Fri, 07 Jan 2011 08:28:46 +0100

Seriously if you are a fan of peanut butter cookies then I highly recommend you click on the link below:

http://homecooking.about.com/od/dessertrecipes/r/blcookie92.htm

     These peanut butter and jam cookies are pretty well the best you will ever eat. These cookies are so bloody good that if you are a guy and never made cookies in your life you better learn fast! I am serious I would wear a dress if I had to in order to make these. They are the ultimate in peanut butter and jam. I doctor mine up though by covering the jam with a nice thick layer of Betty Crockers French Vanilla icing. That is the vital part that is left out on this recipe. Un-bloody believable!!!! The icing helps balance out all the protien with a few carbs. I guess I should point out that these are not an easybake cookie but worth the time and effort no question.

     To those that don't know me I eat a lot of peanut butter. On average about a half kilo a week and mostly with raspberry jam and cheddar or catsup and cayanne pepper. I have lived off this for the last forty years or more. Of course I don't eat it just because it is good for me either. I eat it mostly because I love it. The nice thing about peanut butter and jam is you get a nice balance of fat, sugar and protein in one meal. Needless to say because I am fairly health conscious ( I have been vegetarian for 29 years now) I always use no sugar peanut butter and low fat sugar. That way you get both low sugar and low fat in one cookie!!

     All my life I dreamed that there was the ultimate in peanut butter cookie out there and by sheer fluke I found it online. Sure I have had some really good peanut butter cookies over the years but none that come even near these ones. It is a big claim but once you try them you will know why I rave about them. In fact if you are like me you will likely dream about them. Anyway happy cooking and eating!!

Here is the before and after the icing

Money Tips from the Mothership...

Fri, 19 Nov 2010 02:28:49 +0100

     Have you ever really thought about the advantages of debit cards over cash? Not me… at least that much up until a year or so ago. That was until an un-announced visit from the mothership gang. They always drop in on me like that without warning. Anyway they brought up a few interesting points that kind of got me thinking.

     One of the first points they made was that debit cards are expensive to use. After all Banks have all sorts of charges related to using them that they ding you with. In some cases those charges can be as much as thirty dollars a month or more. That's $360. a year! I had to agree that's a lot of cheap wine. Multiply that by ten years and you have $3500.!!! Yikes!

     Then they went on to point out that debit cards are far slower than cash. With cash you hand them the money they give you the change, sometimes automatically and away you go. The other "debit stiff" at the next till will still be punching in his code and you will be well on your way. I have actually done that a few times myself.

     Next they brought up the fact that cash always works! If the debit machine is down you are hooped! I have been there before myself and it is a real pain. Or if you card fails for some reason you are also hooped. I have been there also… holding up the line while I try swiping my card ten times to get it to finally read!! Maybe it was my card or maybe it was their machine either way it is a real headache.

     Safety was another issue they talked about. If someone stole your card and then got your code they could clean out your whole bank account!! We know this has happened before. With cash they would only get what you had on hand. They also noted that people in New York have been shot by robbers for not having cash on them. Actually I had read that myself online somewhere. In fact supposedly it is now recommended to carry at least some cash when there. That way if you do get robbed you can quickly hand the junkie a few bucks and away they will go. Not having cash just makes them more agitated and frustrated… maybe enough to shoot you. Not worth it if you value your life or the lives of those with you. Thus another great reason to use cash! Yes I could see their point there for sure.

     They also pointed out that cards are inconvenient which I had to agree with as I remember times I needed cash and could not find a machine anywhere! I missed a screaming deal on a vintage car I stumbled across once because I did not have cash with me and could not find a machine in time. Johnny on the Ball right behind me scooped the deal while I was off tracking down a "cash cow" to milk or should I say get milked out of another buck fifty. By the time I got back Johnny was backing out the driveway and grinning ear to ear. He obviously made a quick few grand off that deal. The nice thing about cash is that everyone will take it no matter where you are in the country and whether they have a debit machine or not!

     They went on to say that the idea behind debit cards was so someone could not rob you. Which was a good point but then they asked me if I knew anyone who had been robbed at gun or knife point. Nope and since then have asked endless numbers of people if they had ever been robbed or knew anybody that had been robbed. So far no one has said yes. The truth is they said was that everyone was getting robbed every month with service charges. Good point I thought. In the last ten years at $360 a year that works out to $3600 just for me alone. Multiply that by millions of other people and the numbers get big fast. Hell I could have afforded to get robbed a few times and would have still broken even!! In fact I could have even gave every street bum a toonie for what I would have saved in service charges each day. I would have felt like I was rich.

     They also told me that it is far easier to manage your money when you are dealing with cash. Your pile is tangible and in your pocket. I've know that for years since it is always harder to part with cash than it is to use your debit card. Not unlike using credit cards. Which is why I guess most big retailers have their own cards now after all you don't get big by being stupid. They also said that debit cards were like having very expensive portable piggy banks that dinged you every time you pulled out some cash.

     So using cash is far cheaper...,far faster..., far more convenient..., far safer..., far more fun and impressive…, could even save your life..., and is easier to manage they went on to say.

     When I asked why hell do we all use debit cards then when they have so many disadvantages? Their response was that it is all because of smart marketing on the part of the banks. They then asked me how would you like to get a few cents on every transaction that took place in the electronic world? Well that was a no brainer. They also pointed out that humans have herd mentality and often will automatically follow what others are doing even when it is against all logic.

     They later went on to say that most people are not as much the independent thinkers that they like to think they are. Banks know that, which is why they pushed their cards so much. The same thing with credit cards they told me. Which of course pretty well led to the innovation of "identity theft" on a grander scale. Well I was aware of the chaos that can cause. I knew a highly respectable manager in a corporate position was drug away from his office in hand cuffs because someone stole his identity. Even though he reported his wallet stolen or lost to the authorities already. The finders or thieves used it to get a line of credit which they drained and then rented three or four cars which they stole and likely sold for parts.

     According to the mothership, debit cards create a down pour of income into bank coffers, at the expense of the user, and all one drop at a time. Anyway they started to go on some more but I just tuned them out. I get tired of their babbling on and on at times. Not only that but they some times act like I am such a sucker and besides I like my debit card… I think. Not only that but I get tired of them laughing at me all the time and calling me Ben Dover when that's not my name.